ENGLISH VERSION :
It’s been more than four months since I last wrote in my notebook. Four months that I haven’t logged on the blog’s dashboard. My last article, published in November, had been scheduled and for good reason, I wanted to get back to writing for a while but circumstances compromised my return.
I warn you, this article is going to be long and probably a bit disjointed because this time, it won’t be a simple Mea Culpa for months of silence or a post with pretty pictures.
As you may know, last January, I radically changed my life: I went from being a casual performer to being an employee in a company. I quickly evolved professionally and reached a position of Communication and Event Manager – a position I never imagined I would reach one day – I built a great team and created a lot of events that punctuated a year of intense work and rich emotions.
The many and varied missions encouraged me to dive into work without restraint and although I blossomed greatly, I struggled to find free time to devote myself fully to the blog and I must say that I missed it a lot.
This summer, I had officially left you with sunny articles but the good weather was short-lived. After five months of hospitalization due to a violent fall, we learned that my grandmother ‘Nona’ had to go to an EHPAD and would have no other choice than to leave the apartment she had known for more than forty years without being able to spend one last time there. Long months of logistics and moving followed. Fortunately, we had found a suitable structure to welcome her, but this did not take away anything from her pain and ours to have to say goodbye in the emergency to this apartment which had seen us grow up my father, my sisters and me.
After three months “with our heads in the sand”, we handed back the keys with a heavy heart but relieved to know that she was in good hands and only a few minutes away from the house my parents had just bought. We planned to see her regularly before they moved in next March. There were only a few months left before she could enjoy their company full-time.
I guess life had other plans for Nona. It is still impossible for me to say or write it because it still seems unreal but we had to say goodbye to her on December 24th, surrounded by those who had shared a little of her with us.
At the dawn of the blog’s third anniversary, I questioned myself for a long time about my motivation and my desire to resume writing, whether it be online or in the theater. I talked about it for a long time with my lover who has the great quality of knowing how to listen and find the right words when needed. And it was when he said to me, “What would Nona do” that his words resonated in my mind again, “Sweetie go for it, don’t waste time!”
I can see her shaking my hand forcefully and encouraging me with her dark, determined look as she repeated those words, “Don’t waste time.”
So here I am again. This article will have been without a doubt the most personal and painful I would have had to write since the creation of the blog but it was necessary for you to understand. The pain and the sorrow have not left me yet to give way to memories, so I am trying to be patient and let time do its work – which seems to me to be a good resolution to start 2023.
So I’ll meet you, as before, every Sunday at 6pm, for a series of articles entitled “Throwback To” which will hopefully allow us to go back in time a little over the past few months.
